A few weeks ago we decided to have a small gathering to celebrate our anniversary.  While we were checking in to the hotel suite we rented for the occasion, we got a call from our closest vanilla friends.  They wanted to g out to dinner.  We explained that we couldn’t, because we were hosting a party.  Now, we go out to dinner about once a week or so with these friends, and while we we aren’t blatant about the lifestyle with them, we also don’t really tell them details either.  We may tell them we went to a party or a club, but no details of what went on at said gathering.  And they have never really asked for more details.  So, they were a little offended that we would have a party and not invite them.  My husband explained what would be happening at the party- and they were fine with not being invited, but their curiosity was piqued.

Later that week we went to dinner with them and discussed our local “social” club.  It was decided that they would be interested in tagging along with us for our next trip.  Questions were asked and answered about what to expect from this club, what to wear, etc.  We told them they could leave at any time if they ever felt uncomfortable, etc.  I assured them that I was very, very nervous on my first trip to the club, and I still feel sort of like a fish out of water if we go to the club on a night when no one we know is attending.

 Turns out, they had a blast!  We were fortunate that we had some other friends attending that evening, and everyone went out of their way to make our friends feel comfortable, which I really appreciated.  They are certainly not ready to swing yet, and may never get to that point, but they really enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere.  How could anyone not have fun at a club where there is porn playing in the background, women walking around in various states of undress, people decidedly enjoying themselves in out-of-the-way-places, and great music?  They told us later they are very interested in returning.

Which got the husband and I talking…  If you are a regular at a social club, you are no longer really “Vanilla” anymore, so what does that make you?  We decided maybe  they were French Vanilla.  Which threw me in to fits of giggles.  We know another couple where she used to play, then fell in love with an ultra conservative guy.  He is crazy for her, and would do just about anything for her… so I think it’s only a matter of time BUT… until then, are they Neopolitan?  Chocolate and Vanilla in happy harmony with a bit of Strawberry in the middle to ease the transition?  We recently met a few couples who are certainly World Class Chocolate.  And I’ve known a few that were Rocky Road too… I could keep going, but I’m sure you get the idea!

I recently heard the term “vanilla” used to describe the world outside of swinging/BDSM.  The American Heritage Dictionary gives these definitions of vanilla: 1. Flavored with vanilla: vanilla pudding. 2. Lacking adornments or special features; basic or ordinary.  Personally, I think that’s being a little rough on poor ol’ vanilla.  I kind of like vanilla, after all. 

But, when I thought about it some more, it made perfect sense.  Before I entered in to the “lifestyle” there was absolutely nothing wrong with my life.  If you had asked me, I would have even told you that my love life was probably spicier than your average gal’s.  If I thought occasionally that I might be missing out on something, it was nothing to be concerned about.  Right?…. right?

But, once you have had chocolate, vanilla pales in comparison.  (Pun only partially intended)  Vanilla is alright, but chocolate- wow!  If all you have ever had is vanilla, then you really don’t know what you are missing.  Don’t get me wrong- chocolate isn’t for everyone, and neither is swinging and certainly BDSM.  In fact, I don’t even know that I’d say that just because you aren’t a part of the lifestyle, doesn’t mean you are vanilla.  I just think everyone should occasionally strive to stretch their limits a little.  And really, I’m not even sure that ”chocolate” is the accurate flavor to use in describing swinging.

Let me tell a short story, and perhaps I can describe it a little better.  A few years back, my husband and I were working together, and a sales rep offered to take us out to dinner.  He lived out of town, but had lived in Austin before, and had a hankering for his favorite retauranet, Z’Tejas.  Now, I have to admit, I’m a simple girl.  I liked dinner just fine, but fancy food is not my fave, but what girl doesn’t enjoy the experience of being wined and dined a little?  Especially when you get ot sit at a table and be the center of attention for two rather attractive males.  So, we finished dinner, and the rep tells us that Z’Tejas makes a chocolate cake that is to die for.  The kicker is- it is made with chiles in the mix. 

Now, I am sensitive to spicy foods.  I avoid them at all costs, which is difficult when you live in Texas.  Foods where other people can feel no heat at all set my mouth on fire.  But, the rep isists that I have to try it.  My husband declines, but the rep eventually talks me in to sharing a piece with him.  The dessert arives at our table, and looks like an ordinary piece of chocolate pie, though nicely presented.  Then I take a bite…. and my knees went weak.  It was quite possibly the best piece of pie I had ever had.  The chocolate melted in your mouth, and though the chiles don’t provide any “heat” they add a spicy, sensual flavor that words just can’t describe.  Sitting across from my husband watching me share this desert with another man was intensely sexual.  If you are ever in the area, swing (ok, pun fully intended there) by Z’Tejas.  Order the “ancho chili fudge pie” eat it slowly, enjoy it, savor it.  And then think of Vanilla.  It is the closest I can come to describing the difference between living in a vanilla world, and living in my world.