Well, I sort of cut my last post short. That’s what happens when you are trying to post in the morning before you traipse off to work. You look up, and all of a sudden you realize it’s 5 minutes until you have to leave, and you are still sitting naked on the couch and blogging on the laptop. *Sigh* I tried to talk my husband in to posting or commenting about exactly how he turned his vanilla girlfriend in to his swinging wife, but he was not interested in posting. What was very obvious from our conversation (and from his VERY sexy, sly little grin) was that it was no accident. He definitely had some sort of a “master” plan. Which is somewhat odd to me, because I never really thought about it before. Maybe if you guys beg and plead (he likes that quite a bit, I’m afraid), I can eventually get him to post some suggestions.

So, on to the last to questions from my previous post, which I think are somewhat tied together. (Why I would tolerate it, and how I would tolerate it.) First, even asking why I would tolerate swinging assumes that it’s something he has to drag me to do, which is not always true. It is occasionally more true in our relationship than in others, but there are swinging couples I know where both partners are equally gung-ho, and there are even a few out there where SHE is more “into” swinging than he is. So first, get rid of the stereotype that only guys really like to swing.

Secondly, swinging is something my husband was a part of before he met me. I have never been one of the women who “falls in love with” someone, and then immediately turns around and tries to make them in to someone else. I have never understood that. Not that there aren’t compromises to be made, but I would not ask my husband to give up something that he feels so strongly about without at least trying it first. And there are advantages to swinging as well. In a relationship where we are each free to temporarily bring others that we are attracted to into the bedroom, why cheat?

As to how I tolerate it, as I alluded earlier it isn’t always easy for me. Nothing in a relationship is. If it was, I’d be worried. A good relationship takes work. And don’t misunderstand either, it isn’t that I dislike swinging, and only do it to make him happy. That would not be true. When I find someone I click with, I really enjoy it. But finding where my ( and his) boundaries are meant occasionally testing them a bit. The key to any relationship is communication and honesty, and this goes quadruple for any type of open relationship. Both partners have to be ok with frank discussion… and I think tensions occasionally have to boil over a bit so that the relationship can grow and develop. Anyone looking to get into the lifestyle should keep this in mind- and NEVER get in to swinging to “spice” a stale relationship. That is the equivilent of agreeing to “date other people”. Except, when you agree to do that you both know the relationship is over.

So, swinging takes work. Both as a couple, and as an individual. But in a strong relationship where both parties are willing to work at it, the rewards are SO worth it. I don’t think there is anything sexier than watching my husband share a smoldering kiss with another female, and then knowing that he is watching when she turns and kisses me too. If her husband is watching too, all the better. And I think our relationship in general is more secure. I know I can share anything with my husband, and we can work through anything.