I recently heard the term “vanilla” used to describe the world outside of swinging/BDSM.  The American Heritage Dictionary gives these definitions of vanilla: 1. Flavored with vanilla: vanilla pudding. 2. Lacking adornments or special features; basic or ordinary.  Personally, I think that’s being a little rough on poor ol’ vanilla.  I kind of like vanilla, after all. 

But, when I thought about it some more, it made perfect sense.  Before I entered in to the “lifestyle” there was absolutely nothing wrong with my life.  If you had asked me, I would have even told you that my love life was probably spicier than your average gal’s.  If I thought occasionally that I might be missing out on something, it was nothing to be concerned about.  Right?…. right?

But, once you have had chocolate, vanilla pales in comparison.  (Pun only partially intended)  Vanilla is alright, but chocolate- wow!  If all you have ever had is vanilla, then you really don’t know what you are missing.  Don’t get me wrong- chocolate isn’t for everyone, and neither is swinging and certainly BDSM.  In fact, I don’t even know that I’d say that just because you aren’t a part of the lifestyle, doesn’t mean you are vanilla.  I just think everyone should occasionally strive to stretch their limits a little.  And really, I’m not even sure that ”chocolate” is the accurate flavor to use in describing swinging.

Let me tell a short story, and perhaps I can describe it a little better.  A few years back, my husband and I were working together, and a sales rep offered to take us out to dinner.  He lived out of town, but had lived in Austin before, and had a hankering for his favorite retauranet, Z’Tejas.  Now, I have to admit, I’m a simple girl.  I liked dinner just fine, but fancy food is not my fave, but what girl doesn’t enjoy the experience of being wined and dined a little?  Especially when you get ot sit at a table and be the center of attention for two rather attractive males.  So, we finished dinner, and the rep tells us that Z’Tejas makes a chocolate cake that is to die for.  The kicker is- it is made with chiles in the mix. 

Now, I am sensitive to spicy foods.  I avoid them at all costs, which is difficult when you live in Texas.  Foods where other people can feel no heat at all set my mouth on fire.  But, the rep isists that I have to try it.  My husband declines, but the rep eventually talks me in to sharing a piece with him.  The dessert arives at our table, and looks like an ordinary piece of chocolate pie, though nicely presented.  Then I take a bite…. and my knees went weak.  It was quite possibly the best piece of pie I had ever had.  The chocolate melted in your mouth, and though the chiles don’t provide any “heat” they add a spicy, sensual flavor that words just can’t describe.  Sitting across from my husband watching me share this desert with another man was intensely sexual.  If you are ever in the area, swing (ok, pun fully intended there) by Z’Tejas.  Order the “ancho chili fudge pie” eat it slowly, enjoy it, savor it.  And then think of Vanilla.  It is the closest I can come to describing the difference between living in a vanilla world, and living in my world.

Let me introduce myself.  Well…. that’s easier said than done.  After all, the very nature of this blog will show how little we know the people around us.  But now I’m getting ahead of myself.

I’m 31.  Female.  Ecstatically married.  Two kids from a previous marriage who reside with their father.  Two dogs.  Brown hair, blue eyes, 5′6″.  I’m not going ot give you my weight- I’m female, remember?  That covers the basics.

If you dig a bit deeper, you’ll find that I love to read.  Just about anything will do, with the exception of Thriller, Mystery, and True Crime books.  I enjoy history- especially european history from the Dark Ages to the Renaissance.  I play MMO’s.  I’m incredibly shy around any new person and in any new environment until I get comfortable, but once I get comfortable, watch out.  I like vintage clothes and old houses.  I knit, but I can’t crochet.  I love photography, but you will rarely find me behind a camera.  I never grew out of Sanrio and Morning Glory.  I love music in almost any form.  I like movies, but I can’t watch one without doing something else while I’m watching.  I’m inquisitive- I like to collect knowledge, but I don’t have a degree.

That describes me almost completely.  If you talk to most of my friends, my family, my coworkers, I think they would tell you that is a pretty accurate picture.  But there is an entire part of my life that I share with almost no one except my husband.  We are part of the “lifestyle” underground.  We swing.  And he is a Dominant, and I am a submissive. 

I decided to start this blog because I am very aware of the perceptions that abound regarding couples and individuals who decide to enter this lifestyle.  In any crime show, people who wear leather and carry whips are always the bombs just waiting ot go off.  When I listen to friends talk about “people like that” I always feel the urge to let them know that they just don’t understand.  This blog will hopefully provide an outlet for me, education for the public, and hopefully start a conversation.